Break What's Already Broken Poem by Stella Mary

Do you remember?
When we shared everything
The last brownie, that one of a kind dress
The tears of our grief
Do you remember?
When we shared secrets
Instead of creating them
Now there’s only stealing
We call each other thief
Do you remember?
When we said together forever
Never will a boy break us
Never will I go behind your back
Do you remember?
The day you broke that rule
When you took what was mine
So what you have now, I lack
Did you forget?
That he's nothing but a player
And while I know the game,
You're merely his toy
Did you forget?
That I know you best
Where you're strong, where you're weak
I have the means to kill, destroy
Did you forget?
That I love a competition
I love the challenge, the fear
The brilliant taste of success
Did you forget?
Whose he was first?
Who knows him better?
Who introduced you to this mess?
This hurricane of emotions,
Can you feel it?
The weight of the waves,
Heavy with lies
Crashing down on us?
I bet you didn’t know
That this time I didn’t back down
I took back what was mine,
Hid it in the shadows of the night
I bet you didn’t know
That I'm not hiding alone,
That he helps too
As we stay out of your sight
I bet you didn’t know
That he doesn’t really care
That he's in on the secret
And he wants me too
I bet you didn’t know
That the two people
You care about most
Constantly plot against you
I won't deny
that I know neither of us
ever had the intention
or thought
of turning against one another
I wont deny
that I know
how easily we could heal
By me simply walking away
But I also wont deny
that I'm addicted
hooked on the thrill,
the stress and satisfaction
of never getting caught
Im addicted to him,
his touch,
though meaningless
and careless
I'm addicted
to the craving desire
and the instant gratification
he gives
So remember this, dear friend,
I intend to follow our rule
To share everything
Even if you don’t know
Remember
That I promise, that I swear
To still keep secrets
Even if they're from you
But,
Should those secrets
And my lies,
Be unearthed,
Remember this
It's nothing personal
I never wanted to hurt you
To lie to you.
I know I should back down
That I should let you win.
But you hurt me first
You’re the reason I tripped
The reason I didn’t cross the finish line
I hope that when you embrace him
You feel the remains of my warmth
The scent of my perfume
Fresh on his skin
I hope you’ve listened closely
To everything
My words and the faint sound of a door
Because when you come in the front
I sneak out the back
Already done, already satisfied
And oddly, already feeling regret
As I ponder a recurring question
Of if it will matter when the truth is unleashed
If it's possible to break what's already broken