Bri's Naughty Minister.... [ Naughy People; Group Psychology; Crime & Consequences! ! ; Long; Fantasy] Poem by Bri Edwards

I had just finished embezzling a hundred grand from my firm.
I'd stopped at a bar for a drink after work, feeling like a worm.
I was an accountant for a Fortune 500 company. They had PLENTY of money,
but, though the cash solved ONE problem, I WASN'T feeling sunny.

I'd been a gambler, off and on, for twenty years. My luck had turned.
Through my nest egg (I‘d saved towards retirement) I'd burned.
My kid wanted to attend grad school. The wife wanted new boobs.
All of a sudden any luck I'd had was ….flushed down the tubes***.

So, a bit tipsy and feeling a bit guilty, I wandered …..
walking down some Manhattan streets ….as I pondered …..
where my life was headed.
I'm not religious; STILL I was thinking I'd committed a sin.
And then I saw IT! A sign saying: 'Sinners, sinners! Come In, Come In'.

Had fate brought me here? Was I about to be 'born again'?
I started to push open the door, but stopped and turned around. THEN ……
a nearby speaker blared: 'COME IN' (a male's voice) and 'come in' (a female's voice) .
I tried to resist but the voices kept calling me. I had NO choice.

The room I entered was small. There were posters on each wall.
Bold titles stood out above striking pictures; lurid and sordid were they (all) .
MURDER; RAPE; ROBBERY; ASSAULT; CHILD ABUSE; EMBEZZLEMENT.
['Where am i? What is this place? '] I was filled with fear and puzzlement.

A door at the back of the room opened; a young woman appeared.
She was dressed in a flowing white robe and a tall conical hat. [Weird! ]
The hat was red and cocked to one side. She smiled and took my hand.
Passing through the door with her, I stepped into a different land!

My guide gave me a name tag and said 'Wear this'.
It already had my name, AND read: 'I did piss ………
away my money, GAMBLING, and living the high life.
So I became a thief [EMBEZZLER] to please son and wife.'

I did as I was told; I felt compelled to go along.
Then the people mingling in the room broke into song.

'We are sinners, one and (almost) all. We admit our ERRORS.
We are society's misfits; we are guilty (as charged) of terrors.
But ARE we not all humans ……., and thus prone to such behavior?
Now we come together to be forgiven by Josh, our beloved Savior! '

Suddenly a bright light appeared …..from across the room,
followed by a noise …………not unlike a sonic BOOM!
In fact the room seemed to shake a bit. I was shaking too.
As if by magic a short, stout, man appeared, dressed in brilliant blue.

'Minister! Minister! Minister Josh we all shall follow!
As sinners, all, we've come now to, in forgiveness wallow.'

Now I was curious, a little scared ……., AND my knees did sag.
I found myself eying those around me, and reading each one's tag.

'Francois Torque: I ate a family of four, and then their pet collie.
Yes, I sinned, grievously, but at the time …………..I felt jolly.'
'Roscoe Feldman: My company used defective steel.
Thirty people died in a bridge collapse. I got off on appeal.
'Norio Yoshita: Young girls and boys I used for my amusement.
I served five years in jail for my ……….child abusement.'
'Janice White: I've assaulted men and women, both, alike,
just to steal their groceries, relief checks ………, or their bike.'

Well, let me tell ya, those tags opened my eyes.
And when Josh spoke I was in for another surprise.

'My children, are you SORRY now for what you did?
If so, raise your right hand, and do as you are bid ……..
by me.'

All the right hands in the room shot up high into the air.
All, that is, except for one guy at whom we all did stare.
His name tag read: 'Adolf H: I did away with those in my way.
My country was meant to rule; I hadn't time to play.'

Josh also looked at 'Adolf', and was a bit annoyed ……,
BUT with a fiery voice Josh did what the others enjoyed.
He spoke of forgiveness, if they would believe in him,
AND place a donation in the box, a donation fat or slim.

'It is for my work among you, SINNERS. Pony up!
And then I'll mingle with you and perhaps enjoy a cup ……
of the wine 'John's Liquor Warehouse' did supply.

If anyone says it was STOLEN, I say THAT …..is a damn lie!

(mid-September 2015)

Bri Edwards :)

Monday, November 9,2015

*** 'flushed down the tubes': here meaning he used up the money, probably mostly for gambling

Retitled, slightly, and resubmitted July 30th,2022

2015 Topic(s) of this poem: religion