Time shall come after years of being accustomed
Life was built on the foundation of a lie
Past to present, then to now, outdated systems
Settled upon by alterations of the mind of man
Known in our heart to be seen as inconsistent
its nature has been questioned, yet never asked
and the silence fills a world that should know
this desperate cry inside does shed a tear
Change is sought, time shall move ahead
Instead, Mankind takes pleasure and it's suspension
seasons come and they will go throughout 12 of 30
the ideas of past creation has withered and died
and if we shall not turn away from this very nation
We shall be condemned to a pain no man can survive
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Marcquiese, tmost effective poems use vivid images to convey their message. You do have a message here, but you employ so many abstract words (change, pleasure, pain, etc.) , I feel nothing. Perhaps immerse yourself in some good contemporary poetry (Mary Oliver, Jack Gilbert) for inspiration and guidance? if you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Thanks! Yrs, JC