Chapter Two: If Only You Knew Poem by Kamar Hammond

If you only knew. If everything I told you really meant anything to you as much as you made me believe; it was so important to me so I broke to tell you, why doesn't it register?

If you only knew how happy I wished you were.

If you only knew how much I hate pushing you away when all I want is you.

If only you knew how much I prayed to have a friendship neither breakable or manipulated.

If you only knew that I look up to you.

if you only knew when I want to cry my tears will not run down my face. I crack under the pressure of my pain & issues to find them leaking out the holes of my broken temple.

If you only knew that I need help.

If you only knew that I can tell when you're lying to my face, to my scrambled mind and my fragile heart. Tell me something true, I believe in you.

If you only knew I've prayed so much for your forgiveness, yet it seems you'd rather forget & hold onto my offering of truth & confession throughout your journey days. It's breaking me the more I try to put myself back together again.

If you only knew,
what I do now.
My path is rocky
the road, paved with blood & pen ink.
So many of my dreams
& my life's pursuit for happiness is my one goal.

If you only knew
I don't need you,

but I need you.

If you only knew I can't tell you this.