Christmas Time Poem by Sandra Sando

'Tis the season to be jolly'
That's easier said than done!
'Time will mend a broken heart'
Maybe, but not this one.
With time I've found my 'public' face
The one the whole world sees.
The face your friends get comfort from
Not the one that shows you grieve.

Your 'other' face has sadness
Etched into every line
This is the face that shows your pain
Not the one that says 'I'm fine'
How can you say, when someone asks,
That you feel you just want to die.
That living each day is just too hard
Too hard without my boy.

So Christmas approaches 'the festive season'
A time for families but for me it's the reason
I'm feeling so low, so tired, so profoundly sad
This is the worst Christmas I have ever had!

The first one without you, your Kozue returned,
On the second I put you to the back of my mind.
This one I am having time to myself
Just to think of my son, let my mind on him dwell.
It may not seem healthy but it feels right for me
I don't want to pretend any more, can't you see?
Pretending that Christmas is still the same
Pretend to have fun but not mention your name
Only doing that to avoid any tears
Well not this year my darling son
My tears are all yours.