Condemned Poem by Elizabeth Kudebeh

Listen closely…
Let your body go.
Let it fall and hope it lands where it began.
It is of no consequence now, your earthly possessions.
And your worries.
I feel them and they are too heavy, let them go.
Stop smiling like you think I might be an angel.
I am no angel.
Take off those soiled rags.
Your gestures show modesty.
What a genuine emotion to be found in a killer’s mind.

Yes, I know what you did.
Do you now know who I am?

Let your mind go.
It will be easier to lose now by choice, than later by force.
Let your heart once more expand and then constrict unto itself.
I can see your eyes considering the option to run.
Quick reject it.
Because I know it is there, settling below your irises.
Hah, you are frightened.
I could destroy you with a malice known to none.
And yet you chose to be scared of the fact that your mind is no longer shut.
You cannot seal it from me.

Do you think I would ignore it?

I chose to see your greatest sin.
In every molecule I can see it.
It splatters your mind like red paint.
Not unsimilar to the blood.
That one act has forever left a warped dent in the middle of your conscience.

You feel sorry now?

You have no remorse for the killing nor the forcing, but I know.
You feel worst that someone knows.
But I will not let you have a sweet release of forgiveness.
I will let it hang.
Like a giant anchor ripping through the wet paper that is your heart.
Remember forever how you paved your way to hell.
Then rolled out your own red carpet to it.
You did not see how moldy the carpet was.
Nor how it was charred and speckled with dying sparks.

You already forgave yourself.

It happened as soon as you were satisfied and her body lay cooling.
I have seen others do as you have done.
But never with such outright indifference.
Indifference that has chilled your blood to become filled with ice crystals.
Dulled your bones and made strong emotion painful.

I see your eyes fog over.

That can’t hide the recognition.
You killed me.