Contradiction Poem by Robin Shuler

You love to hate
-and hate to love.

But Living still feels like
-Dying-
inside the sleepy smiles
and below the heartbeats that race towards another sunset.

Another sunrise
wishing it was twilight.
Opening my eyes feels like saying goodbye.
Lover, friend, or enemy?
- the day hides much more then moonlight.

You hate to love
-and love to hate.

Tethered to the world while waves
pull gently, lapping me towards
-what? eternity? damnation? or simply another
shifting trail of glittering eyes.

And dying makes me feel
-Alive-
- in desperate ways that hope denies.

Breathing feels like drowning -
now - while darkness
wraps and caresses down my back.
And still it hides their hateful eyes that keep on searching.

Searching for the dusk of despair
-no, of delight?
Delight, despair, damnation and death -
there's no difference in them now.

You love to hate
-and hate to love.

You inhale cold indifference
and exhale colder apathy - what a fragile, sorrowful
way to die. way to live.

Is there a way? To untangle all these strings from the sky,
the fear and the lust and the genuine hate.
-Love is overated still. Again? Forever.
Or was it never? To find that piece of heaven.

But heaven is hell. And hell..
hell is - what you make it. A Truth. Not a truth.
But isn't truth Truth?
I thought they were all
-lies-

Shout out the silent (whisper) -
scream through lullabies.
In the end its all just another illusion.

Reality is illusion.
And choice is forsaken.
-Forgotten.
Forlorn in its forever - immortal
but only death is beauty.

You can't see and be blind
-but you do.
You hear it all, and never hear a word.

The world never wanted words -
insubstantial fluff that falls like snowflakes that melt before you see them.
Did you ever see them?
Their eyes hidden deep inside the bright light
that scalds your open palm.

Close it up.
-lock it tight.
But let just one more through.
One more chance to kill.
One more chance to love.
-One more death to live.

You hate to love
-and love to hate.