Crow Of Twin Jade Poem by Andrus Cassian

Start
Don't assume I need permission, don't assume I need a voice command to put myself into action
I say this but at the flick of a note from a single stroke of music cause my engines to flow
To take a favorite line, interject into my stream of melodic thinking and there it fits inside my vision of legendary lines
Carving what was once a symbol of someone else's originality into my own original copy
For if you put the right song to my mirror of thoughts, here lies the perfect blend of original copies in pure blend
A smoothie of sorts I guess only to comfort me as I try to get someone to listen to me by being multiple people but me
And I would say this would be the part, the
Start
If you will of this chameleon boy, shedding color and becoming blank
Clear slate to state what makes me well in all perceived manner me
But this isn't the reason I spill my contents to paper, no not this time
Forgive me if I put the record back on repeat constantly, consistently
What do you expect of me
I try to break cycle yet receive no answer so I retrieve the broken cycle and fame hits me again blindly
But the only fame I seek are those pierced, unapologetic eyes flecked green that turned me to stone three years ago
Yes, I'm talking about her; I'm always talking about her: Scarlett Jade
Her, as frequent as Sarah's name presses upon my lips reflects Scarlett's
For both alike is what it took for both of them to make me, shape me
Alas though I flock to them because they oppose to each other
Sarah has something of me, she stole from me or maybe I gave her a parting gift I never gave back
It's a mystery but I told her, at least her reflection I was moving on
I moved on, said it with such sureness but I am unaware of how much of it was true
I did drop her name like it was a little pebble skipping across a river to see if it would skip or sink and it did both
Skipped to carry the flow but sank in my heart cause now I forgot the point to my little mention so allow me to press
Pause and Rewind
So I can figure out the point, the purpose of my writing excursion today
Sarah and Scarlett, opposing sides yet twins in a sense
Both Sorceresses who found ways to seduce my heart, captivate my mind, make me immortal, make me human, cast a spell upon me because I crave, craved their attention
Crave their appreciation, crave their love
More of a pet or a plant that needs watering instead of love interest because I was the one chalk full of emotions, wanting more and more
Playing roles of dominant and submissive like a game of chess with myself
As they rise above me with every single play, every single move
High on pedestals I couldn't see
They both manipulated strings upon me, a puppet to be believable
Not inconceivable, it was fact
I can admit that
Meet them and you'll see
How I saw the beauty in their oaks, ate the apple from their trees
Just don't ask how I fell out of sync
Just don't ask how we fell out of sync
Scarlett, she's still around but in small doses
And I promise myself I wouldn't fall
Won't submit to her clever call
Wont feel at all when I see her tall
Living out dreams too big to ever include me
Yet she eclipses my world
She Earth and I the moon
Always to gaze at her brilliance and majesty
Always to revel in her beauty
I've said it before, she attains every definition of queen
She attains every definition of princess
She's a gem worth being kept
She's a thousand different wonders and transformers within a single person
I swear, I swear anyone would be lucky to put a ring around her
If they can catch her long enough
She slides into the shadow, a princess of proud head games
The queen of Chinese checkers, the master of illusions
How she materialized into my life seems by chance, I'd dare say fate only if fate meant I'd still have her face in all mirrors like Sarah
Scarlett, she took nothing from me
She took me, molded me
Showed me the world and it's complexities
Taught in cryptic Shakespearean language I was so enthralled by I became fluent only to be engulfed by Macbeth and his ponderings that I never resurrected
I still am lost his sea of imagery and pronunciation while she wishes to travel overseas to chase a dream that outlives fame and fortune
She taught me how superior she is than me, far superior in intellect
Allowing me under her wing for study yet all I could do was study her complexion, her features
Memorize the tense way her face crunches up when she focuses
The wrinkle along her nose when she laughs
The way I adore her short hair removed from it's ponytail parade, a flowing art form I can't put into terms I would say suffices
Forgive my devices
Like I said, she is a twin of Sarah
And I under pale light, this halo of truth
Bares all truth, good or lie, I cannot deny
Scarlett, I envy her
Envy her desire, her passion, the way she can crawl deep under my skin
Resurrect creative flowing ideas from within where I have droughts and can't make lyrics from barren sand
And one demand from her, voice activation
In minutes, pure minutes a plant has grown in the form of a masterpiece
All of words to decorate her beauty, all of words to add to her already growing portfolio of the magic this Crow has enabled her to be encouraged with
I dare say no one else has seen her in this light
Or I dare say I'm not the only one
I'm just the only one to put it into words so elegantly rough
Cause roughly I said way back I was intellectually, physically, emotionally in love with this girl
This strategic world that left me feeling like nothing more than a bug or everything smaller
But left me with dreams larger than Jupiter
She pulled apart my molecules where I didn't know if I was trying to please myself or her or both simultaneously
She is Sarah's twin
Scarlett, the reason where every fictional female description has green eyes and fair complexion
Contains her grace and composure
She's a composure of the arts, a writer of sorts
I guess you could say she imprinted her print upon my heart and I don't know where to
Start nor Stop
So I guess I'll continue to say that without a clue, I dress down in blue and gray for she's capable of making me feel this way
Cause once again I crave to be the center of her world
Granted with growing older and phases passed
I'm finally A grade but it's distance that portrays and betrays the fate I proclaimed in my own mind that brought us together in the first place
She has her direction and I have mine
But in her reflections, I still have prominent affection
I think I always will
I can't tell my heart to
Stop
Loving even at a standstill, like a landfill, fill with lead strong enough to kill anthills
She was once a universe to me
But here we are, two separate worlds merging ever so comfortably occasionally
I guess my atmosphere just missed the wind that is her voice
To cancel out the wind and static to grace my stratosphere which happens to be my own
And all else that annoys me
Like this nagging question to no one but open air I assume
Sarah and Scarlett
Twins of different afflictions
Sarah and Scarlett
Twins of different addictions
One to show me a mix of hate and love I can't seem evaporate from my system
A first love engraved in my chest that I want engraved on my sleeve so I know she's real
So I know she's not the instrument that killed me
Another, queen to a peasant
A mistaken romantic promise
A Romeo and Juliet made story separated by worlds and universes alike
Taking nothing and giving everything good and bad
Twins of different sympathies but yet in a contest who would outweigh the other
In a contest, who commit the best in slaying or resurrecting me
Or would they say in turn: 'I am impressed by your tone of me
Only you would say so richly your opinion of me in ways that would make anyone melt in their footsteps
But you know all too well that we can never be, but only in your fantasies
Not for ill feeling for you, for you are a pet and plant more than lover
For you whine for affection rather than giving it
For you bear no backbone for fighting, just challenges easy to compete
But can complete the reasons why your mouth is agape hoping a kiss from us would grace your lips to ease your soothing mind from this gone amiss? '
And in turn I'd say to them both, 'since day one, a kiss from you miss was all I ever wanted. To erase everything from before, to erase me and make me a different someone. Yet why erase me, when you like me this way? Why erase your fictional prince who you have locked inside a proverbial calm castle awaiting for a return that will never come? '
Waiting, I said waiting
What am I waiting for? For Sarah, for Scarlett to say something
Anything for my benefit?
Something, anything so I know...i know I didn't jot these names down and turn them real when they are imaginary