Deathly Comfort Poem by Djanna Jaffar

Does the sun ever shine
To the people of this dull town
So we sleep all day, weeks and months
And don't get anything done.

In midnight where everthing's asleep
My mind is racing with my thoughts
I shut my eyes and pray
For I know what is waiting for me here

Pull me closer to you, she said.
With me you'll never escape
Im her captive but no one knows
Im disgusted by myself for being with her
But at night I crawl back to her anyway
Will you hold me till I get some sleep?
Somehow there's a deathly comfort in here.
Because I am her and she is me.
I am my own demon.

Why do i do this to myself you ask?
But have you ever asked me once what I feel?
You said I have the choice to breakfree
But you don't know what it's like to be me

To wake up wishing you did not
To live but not living
To sleep but not entirely asleep
To smile but feeling the crack on your cheeks
To laugh so loud but all you wanna do is scream.
Scream.
Scream.
But you don't.
Because you know no one will listen even if they hear you.
So you bottled it up and pray it wont spill.
Now you have countless bottles lying around
Waiting to break.

Now that you know,
Are you strong enough to open the bottles?
Will you stay?
Will you listen?
Will you still love me?
Please, will you help me?
God I really need help.
Help.
Help.
Help me.