Disavowed Poem by Julie Rey

So destitute, I abide for you to reappear
But you won't.
Disavowed by God from this life untold,
Your blazing soul did scintillate,
This vex I feel is unknown.
You have seized a part of me,
And so now, in this life, the survival of my spirit is dependant on you.

No longer able to embrace what is now abandoned,
The child within shall never molish.
The reminiscence of your being shall forever be unobliterated,
As now, that is all that is left.

Calamity and fury I fear,
For what I will do or say or think.
I now need to shield myself from my thoughts.
Emotions are changing to things I don't feel,
And now I become what I am not.

An empty feeling in the pit of my stomach,
Spikes down my back.
The stumps which are so numb I feel,
Can no longer take me to where I want to go.

The illusion of what I wish to appear,
Fills the void of chaos.
Alas, this shall not be so,
And so for me to now live, I must let you go.