Doubts Heavy Me Poem by Abdou Jallow

I still feel whats beneath my breasts
So frozen, melting down
Eroding my stamp of pride
Boarders me are heartpulses
that my heart beats not for me
In a certain grasping mood,
Chilling another mood
That fades me in the picture
Even in my very own eyes

I'm ready to go
But not an empty carriage
My inner I empty
For a true view of my colours
See them not if you wish
And I would rather die
A black sheep than a white chimp

I'm ready to settle
But not the clouds as grounds
That sees me fall on a rainy day
O no, earth and the skies a afar!
Falling will be a deviation to hell

I am ready to go
Just want your sincerity
let me feel as it is
Cover me not with that jacket
Of fake colours
and burning inside effect