Dragon Lady Poem by Stanley Cooper

She chased him here and chased him there
And then, when he finally caught her
Hooked, befuddled and unaware
He married his mother-in-law’s daughter

Then when the honeymoon trip began
He found it most unromantic
Her mother, his bride and the also ran
Steamed far across the Atlantic

He couldn’t figure why he deserved
And knew he couldn’t forsee
He knew for a fact he hadn’t reserved
Ship space for this unholy three

However he sinned, he had to atone
To retreat from this awful mess
He knew he would never be left alone
With his bride, whom he couldn’t caress

Diabollically he dreamed up plans
To get rid of the Dragon Lady
There were no sane if, buts or ands
He had to do something real shady

Tossing his mother-in-law overboard
At first seemed to be the solution
But this idea he found he abhorred
Since he was anti-ocean pollution

He told the ship’s Captain his story
The man in total command
But Captain would allow nothing gory
So could think of nothing offhand

But when mother-in-law spotted the Captain
And hoisted herself upon him
She was never ever seen again
‘Cause she didn’t know how to swim