xx charmer xx

(1/29/91)

Dreams


You see there’s this girl
I walk with my hands in my pocket
Watching the night sky
A girl that I love and adore
A girl that causes me to not shut my own door

This girl is my world
My angel; my soul
Without her I’d die
But she just doesn’t know

I lay down on this cold cold world
And close my eyes and let my mind race
Run wild run free; get out of my own space
Just think of her smile, her face
And I just fade out

I can sense she’s here
Her taste, her touch, her smell
I’ve memorized it all
The strongest presence from her I feel
But I open my eyes and she is not there

This feeling it swallows me
Smothers me
I can’t hold back
I want to be free
I need to tell her how much she means to me

It soon starts to rain
A long heavy pour
A rain so thick that could drown the whole world

So I run and run
My soul breaking free
I can almost feel it
My body becomes light
But then her face comes to me

I trip and I fall
My chest tightens as I hit the ground
A numbing feeling through out my body
All around
A feeling like I’m going to break down

I start to cry
My vision impaired
“Stupid tears! ” I shout,
I’ve never been more scared

I urge myself on
Picking myself up
And try again

Where I run I don’t know
But I end up at her house
Feeling warmth and care

I reach her door
And bang on the screen
“We need to talk, Baby it’s me.”

Shivering and numb
My heart racing,
Pounding in my head,
Ringing in my ears I wait in the cold pouring rain
For just a glimpse of her will take away my pain

But no one answers, its all quiet and dark
The sound of the rain splashing and banging against the window pain
I call and call leaving messages on her machine
“I need to talk to you. Please don’t leave! ”

I push against the door
And slide to the floor
My head in my hands
As I cry and cry

I sit there and plead
Knowing it’s too late
I won’t have a chance
To take back whatever mistake

I shut my eyes and scream out her name
I grasp for her hand... but I miss cause of pain
I’m so close but yet so far
This barrier blocking me keeping me watching from afar

But I can’t remove it
She has control
She has the key
But wont let me know

I shut my eyes and say out loud
As tears stream down my face
“I love you, I choose you, and you are the one,
Please let me into your life your heart and also your mind
I know I can help mend all I need is time,
To prove to you that you are the one that’s always on my mind.
I need you as much as you need me. You are my life, what makes me strong.
Please don’t leave me, don’t let me go, I can’t go on without you… I want you to know.”

I open my eyes
And lean against the door
With a strange feeling that there has to be more
As I close my eyes for the very last time,
I drift off to sleep and let my mind race, run wild, run free.

But suddenly I wake up
The storm has passed
And I realize that I’m back to the past.

And just as I wake
Looking up at that night sky
A star passes by
A wish, a hope, another chance to seek
That one day I’ll find you
And you'll be mine to keep.

Submitted: Sunday, November 25, 2007
Edited: Tuesday, April 26, 2011

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