Dual Trigger Poem by Matt Burgett

It's not going to happen
Not in the way that it should
I wanted to write for you
But I wanted to write something good

I care for you I promise
But something inside is wrong
It was supposed to be a love poem
but suddenly the love is gone

I can not bare to look in the mirror
without the rage from way back when
showing it's way through every cell
To push you away it will once again

My mind is up and down just like
A roller coaster about to crash
At any moment without timing
Any moment could be my last

I can not love without love for myself
I haven't thought clearly in so long
right now it's weird it's as if I'm someone else
The Matt you knew could be gone

The weirdest feeling it is to feel
When in almost a year you have not
Confusion about who is really real
And how far it really got

I'm not sure what I am saying to you
But I'll continue it all because
My body is feeling something new
and my mind is spinning without trust

Like a drug trip something happened
A magic word has snapped me back
To a reality I haven't seen for years
I'm not sure if I should laugh

I feel like someone new
Completely in my head
What on earth happened to you
Is the old Matt really dead?