Dunstanburgh Poem by Sebastian Seal

Dunstanburgh Castle was huge,
Centuries ago t'was a seal's refuge,
From an evil walrus warlord,
Who onto land would maraude.

The seal was my ancestor,
His name Sebastian Lancaster.
He had built a great splendour,
But forgot to build a door.

The evil walrus came one morn,
He wanted more rent, not a peppercorn.
He bounded straight in where the door wasn't,
And scoffed Lancaster's breakfast croissant.

Lancaster was livid, it was his food,
But for a fight the walrus was in mood.
The evil walrus had come for his taxes,
Wielding a sword and a couple of axes,

Lancaster turned and fled,
He fled upstairs and under his bed.
The walrus gave chase with mighty bound,
But Lancaster was quicker, and went to ground.

The walrus bellowed through the halls,
He smashed down the roof and bailey walls,
He smashed down the keep and postern towers,
His anger drove his evil powers.

Lancaster escaped to a Farne,
While his castle suffered great harm.
If of this story you need proof,
Just look at the great big hole in the roof.