Effortless Poem by Maya Reid

You’d known who he was forever
And he’d always intrigued you
You’d always wanted to know him
Know the story behind those liquid brown eyes
So when he started to talk to you
Told you a secret
And asked for your help
You let him turn to you
You wanted to be there for him
Some part of you felt this uncontrollable urge
To do for him whatever you could
In a matter of days you became one of his closest friends
It was effortless.

And the more you talked to him
The closer you got to him
The more layers you began to peel away
The further you let him in
You found that he was easy to talk to
Realized that you liked having him around
Learned that he was just…like…you
-Scary thought-
He was always so understanding
You saw a beauty in him you’d never seen before
To make a long story short, it didn’t take long for you to love him
It was effortless.

And you knew that he was…
…Different
That the way you loved him was…
…Different, too…
You knew from the very moment he snuck his way inside
That you never wanted to be without him
You loved the way he made you feel
You loved looking at his broken beauty
And anyway, as you helped him
You heard each word he said about her
And, even though they weren’t about you, you melted
You fell in love with him
-Who could expect you not to? -
That, too, was effortless.

Sticking firm to your policy of no secrets, no lies
You told him
And it brought you closer
He trusted you
Opened up to you little by little
Found himself telling you things he’d never said aloud before
You did the same
And you never quite knew if he felt this way too
But you never had to think twice about baring your soul him
You knew that it hurt him to be that intimate
But when he thought of his life without you in it
He felt so empty
Couldn’t remember how he’d ever lived without you
So he started to take down his walls
And let you inside
And though everything was so easy between the two of you
For him, consciously letting you in wasn’t quite effortless.

You were both inside exploring
Learning, excavating, protecting, caring and sharing
He accepted you and he-he understood
He never thought you were crazy
He brought gravity around to hold you down
He spoke to you like he realized
That each word would roll around in your head for days
He made you feel like you were worth something
Like you were beautiful
Like you were somebody
Like you were finally real
And, even deeper, like you were exactly how you should be
Like it was okay to not be okay
Okay to be broken
All these things he did for you
And, though you were unaware, you did them for him, too
He loved you
Loved you for the sole reason that you were you
Though admitting it and telling you
Were far from effortless.

That’s all you ever wanted
To be loved by someone real
To have something real with that real person
You held everything you’d ever wanted
And never dreamed of actually having
-Your impossibility come true-
Held it all in the palm of your hand
And yet you were utterly miserable
Why?
That fuzzy real feeling was supposed to last forever
What went wrong?
What happened to effortless?

By the time you realized that this love was a two-way street
She’d snatched him up and away from you
He’d passed you and taken a turn
Down a road you’d never reach
The two of you could be so close right now
Now that love has been established on both ends
There could be so much learning and loving
Instead of lulling around and letting down
This could all be so effortless.

But now that he and her have become they
(That’s how you “helped”)
This love…it’s all but faded away
Walls have sprung up
-Yours, his, or both? -
Just the other day he was hurting
As always, it hurt you to see him hurt
But you went to hug him like you used to
And a voice inside your head screamed
“What are you doing! ? !
“You can’t do that anymore! ”
-You wonder, did he hear it, too? -
Anyway, no matter their official politically correct answer
You can’t do that anymore
And he’s so happy with her that you can’t see why he’d need you anymore
And he sees that you’re miserable, he just mistakes the reason why
Which is why every time he looks at you, he sighs
What he doesn’t see is that he’s losing you
He doesn’t see that this whole week has felt like goodbye
He’s losing you and it’s effortless.

He’s going to wake up one morning missing you
Only then will he realize that this love has faded away
That your shoulders got tired of holding an entire relationship up
And you’d given into the thought
That everything (even if it’s real) was made to be broken
And that two cripples, two wrongs could never make a right
The two of you had always talked of you losing him
But it was him – he lost you
It had been so easy for you to be close to him
So hard for you to turn away
But when the fog had cleared and fuzzy had faded
The only love he gave to you was a love he didn’t – couldn’t – show
He left behind the memory of a real love
In an attempt to make up for this hard love
A memory…you take it with you as you go
A tear rolls down your cheek
As you wipe at it, you think
You should have known that nothing- no one- is ever different
It couldn’t have lasted (could it have?)
Nothing lasts forever (right?)
Things that stick around are things you have to work for
This was all just too..
Too…
Effortless.