Aden Orie


When it's almost all gone
The day is done
A new one's begun
Confused of what to do
Or what to say
I always end up going the wrong way
Don’t know where I’m headed
I hate the feeling
Of being lost
My life is peeling
I’m scratching away
At all the good times I had
When I wasn't so bad
And the heart that I had
I was sad
But I could cry
Now it takes more
But what hurts most
Is I’m scared one day you won't come back through my door
I mess up so much
I get high
I lie to you
I don't know why
Now it's so hard to say i love you
I really do
I could show a lot more
But I don't feel like i know you
I don't know me anymore
I’ve lost who i was
Now I’m no one
Just because
I wanted to change
I was getting bored
My heart's been cut by a sword
Now I’m this person
That I don't want to be
I could change back
How could this be?
My heart was so kind
My soul was full
I went blind,
Lost control
Dreaded for work
But I have to go
I wish I could die
I wish I could know
What happens when you’re dead
Thoughts run through my head
I’ve got so much to say
No one cares
You don't know me
No one really does
Not even me,
But I hold a glimpse of who i was
I love you, but
I love me,
These are just words of expression

Submitted: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Edited: Saturday, February 25, 2012


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  • Rookie - 281 Points Daniel Y. (2/25/2014 9:48:00 PM)

    A truly beautiful poem, vulnerable and honest. It had a wonderful rhythm, good word choice and rhymes. Even though it didn't do a whole lot, it accomplished what it needed to. It wasn't about fancy tropes but just getting this crap off your chest, letting the world know, letting someone know. I hope you will find who you are, because you must be a beautiful person to write such beautiful poetry. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tej Singh (2/25/2014 7:00:00 AM)

    a good poem. very nice poem.
    please go to my site also http: // (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,855 Points Soulful Heart (2/25/2014 3:34:00 AM)

    A pointing finger at degrading conscience.....a realisation of getting entangled in the web called world......beautiful piem.. congrats (Report) Reply

  • Rookie ileana Scissors (2/29/2012 2:06:00 AM)

    I am going through the exact same thing right now... exact. Lets just keep going. Beautifully written (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Ashwini Ahir (2/25/2012 9:48:00 PM)

    full with simple words
    make it more deeper.
    and clearer.
    you expressed it the way it should be.
    i thank my gmail
    to deliver this beauty to me. :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Melinda Sordini (5/12/2009 7:07:00 PM)

    Sorry I havent been on in a while Aden....That was a very good poem, but now i wanna know why you wrote it? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Barbara Terry (5/5/2009 6:16:00 AM)

    I remember when I was 16 in 1964 and all that was happening to me through no fault of my own. These same thoughts ran through me then, and some of them still do because the hurt came from someone I expected to be there for me but wasn't. She was actually the reason behind why I hurt so much during the first part of the 60's.

    This poem is ageless because these questions have been asked by teens through time immemorial and will continue to be asked by future generations of teens to come. A 10++++ and thank you for sharing.

    Love & hugs,
    Barbara (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Alf Hutchison (5/4/2009 4:49:00 PM)

    Aden I too was 16...about fifty years life too was messed up....but do you know who messed it up? ME. I see myself reflected in your words so many years ago...angry. and with an attitude of 'No body loves me every body hates me, I am going down the garden to eat worms'... If you will please listen to me and to others whom you have asked for assistance... you have a natural raw talent... guide your anger and frustrations in a positive way into writing good flowing easily read script.. I am putting u on my friend list OK? now get out there and let us all see your true talent. Regards Alf (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Annie Girl (5/4/2009 1:46:00 PM)

    this is excellent work and i would have to agree with brandy make small paragraphs into stanzas..... top 500 for sure: D (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Brandy Reese (4/22/2009 2:21:00 PM)

    I'm a bit harsh with poetry so i have a few suggestions. you have good word choice and line breaks but i think you could have a few stanzas (like paragragh) and the writer who does not punctuate neglects the inrest of their reader. so punctuate. if you compare my old and new ones you'll see that once i started writing with punctuation it was better. maybe you'll move up in the top 500. i like the theme and stuff though. don't change the words just the grammar (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Livvy Peacock (12/12/2008 10:32:00 AM)

    Really cool. If you'd have used paragraphs it would be way more interesting. Great words, though.9/10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Amy (12/11/2008 10:41:00 AM)

    fantastic poem

    written from the heart

    you really put your emotion on the page. Nice one (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Izik Alcox (12/10/2008 10:07:00 PM)

    brutally honest, intense expression, been in a similar state of mind before so I can kinda relate (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mugano Paul (12/10/2008 1:39:00 PM)

    word for word, God has hreathed upon you.

    never say you are this or not that. it is a disappointment to him who has created you with his own hands to be a poet and you listen to 'em who say you aint.

    what do you call a person who makes pots?
    what do you call a person who arrages flowers?
    what do you call a person who makes furniture?
    what do you call a person who drives a car?

    see? everyone have their name.

    tell me that you are a poet.

    your works speak value. Keep it up.

    I pray to know you more.

    paul mugano (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kayla Fountain (12/10/2008 1:13:00 PM)

    Wow i absolutely love this poem. Your an amazing poet, keep writing and i'll keep reading. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Libbie Jones (12/10/2008 1:10:00 PM)

    lol Wow thats soo good
    I can understand how you got on the top 500
    Thats amazing
    You could get so many scholarships for your work
    You're going to be successful
    Keep it up.. (Report) Reply

Read all 68 comments »

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