Exquisite Agony Is Just Too Much Poem by Louise Tredoux

Saturday night without Rudi, Juliette is angry
because I’m bad company, longing to be in the
arms of my emailing beloved, staring in a trance,
I’ve tried making desultory conversation, Werner
came over, Juliette turned into the sweetest flower,
I enjoyed her antics so much, I forgot to mope for Rudi

When she engaged him in kissing, I grew jealous, wishing
Rudi were here, cursing the Saturday for making me lose
my ability to visualize, I could not conjure a vision of me
in my beloved’s arms, the company preventing me from
realizing dreams – Oh Rudi, when you are not here, I miss
you immensely, I know your going away frequently

Keeps the flame of love burning high – but it is such agony,
like today, when I feel desperate for your arms – crying si-
lently, hiding my pain, you are supposed to return home
again and I trust that you will – but oh, trust is not enough
when I miss you, maybe your being here would have cooled
the longing I feel – but sometimes this exquisite agony

Is just too much, I end up a wreck, longing for you, is that
wrong, should I learn to like being without you? – I believe
I should, but learning is painful, once Juliette takes Werner
away, I plan on crying my pain into my pillow tonight...