Finding Myself Poem by Jaana Coon

I have let so many
people into my heart;
not all for the right reasons...

I trusted so many
with my heart and
not all of them could be trusted...

I have been beaten down,
stabbed and cut to the core;
left to bleed out on the cold ground.

For the longest time
I would bounce right back
and do it all again and again.

But even the strongest fail...
Not everyone can always
bounce back like nothing happened.

I have been hurt one too
many times and now,
I realize I have built up walls.

Now I hide the real me.
I hardly let people in;
afraid that they will cause more pain...

I have retreated to protect myself
so that my scars could heal.
Yet somehow I can't seem to heal.

I have pushed too many away;
not willing to talk to them
or willing to say what I need to.

I have been listening to
what people say about me
and thinking that it is all true.

I have let my enemy's voice's in;
poisoning my very thoughts.
Now I don't recognize myself...

I have been standing back
letting other's rule me;
forgetting that they really can't.

My new found walls have
protected me from other's,
but can't protect me from myself.

Now I stand at a fork in the road...
Which path do I follow?
Which path is the right one?

The time has come to choose.
I can no longer idly sit back!
I control my own life!

I can not beat myself anymore,
and I won't stand for
anyone else doing that to me.

I don't need to hide
behind my walls anymore.
I am no longer afraid to be me.

I am beautiful, strong and creative.
I am kind and warm-hearted.
I am original and I am who I am.