Fiona Poem by James Sebastiani

Fiona

I first saw your face, on the Book of Faces,
A vision so lovely, a smile so divine,
Conjured up images, soft kisses, warm embraces,
Could it be possible, could she be mine?

Request her friendship, do i dare?
So i clicked on the button, wait with anticipation,
what seemed like an eon, then you were there,
My pounding heart was filled with trepidation

We spoke for a while, about this and that,
Our ups and downs, our journey through life,
Then came the bombshell, my heart went flat,
She had a husband, was someone elses wife,

But we both agreed to meet for coffee and cake,
totally innocent, two friends, socialising,
When first i saw her, i knew it wouldn't take,
Long for me to fall without realizing,

Our tristes continued, became more clandestine,
Her fencing lessons were just a cover,
Running gear, she'd leave the house dressed in,
When all the time she was with me, her lover,

But as time passed, maybe a couple of years,
Her marriage became over, there was no affection
She wanted to be with me, but was full of fear,
Then she wasn't sure, afraid of her daughters rejection,

How could you do this, an affair with another,
Racked with guilt, she opted to stay,
To play the good wife, the loving mother,
Until it was too much, and it fell into decay,

So she left, but it wasn't for me,
To do something new for her, lead a single life,
She wanted to see what it was like to be free,
To be herself, not just somebodies wife,

We made a pact, i'd move from my flat,
And she'd take it over, just for a year,
I moved to France, and that was that,
We stayed in touch, but it became quite clear

Though i loved her, and she loved me, thought it wouldn't wilt
And agreed to wait a year, until the time was right
She kept changing her mind, racked with guilt
Caught between her love for me, and what Catholicism thought was right,

So each time i was rejected, her church or me,
I turned for comfort to another, and another
After all i'd been spurned, i was free,
In this year, i took a dozen lovers,

One day i told her this, in a fit of rage,
She cried and cried, i felt so bad, what had i done,
I loved this woman more than any other, i wish i could rewrite that page,
I'd damaged something so beautiful, just for a bit of fun,

I think of you every day, and of what might have been,
You're the only woman i've ever loved, just a shame you weren't free
Can't believe i messed up, can't believe i was so mean,
I just hope you're happy, and think, occasionally of me?