First Kiss Poem by Brittanie Thornton

Im loving it Sophie! ! You did a great job. The only thing that threw me was the clean sour breath thing...What is that? :)

Awesome description. I can picture the scene. It seems a very special moment, that probably was fast, but in your head, lasted forever.

Take the comma off of the last word, and put a - between blue and green. But besides that, very, very lovely. enough detail to make a girl's heart remember her first kiss.......except mine was with a guy who had brown eyes lol ^.^ Even though it's a tad bit long, it's lovely. It makes readers want to read it and try to feel what was happening, where it took place, and if things went further. ^.^ Veeerrrrryyyy good! ! ! ! !

This is a very cute poem. I love how you creep more and more into the kissing details.