Fog Poem by Self Harm Suicide

With the words accompanies the arrows of hurt
Raining endlessly onto my soul like hammers shattering glass
Piercing mercilessly through my heart
Thrusting my spirit down the darkness of the abyss
It's not only the demons drowning me
I feel like
Everyone is contributing to the stones weighing me down
Thou shalt not live, they say
The crystal clear vision beneath the waters
My lungs fight for air
My blood gushes through the network of veins
Unfortunately as I feel this
I have yet to escape from life.
Yet.
The profound beauty of death
The sweet luring scent of the promised paradise
I know I'm just building castles in the air
For I know there doesn't exist utopia
Illusions aren't sempiternal
Nothing is everlasting
Even still I do hold the hope for Hereafter
For which the only accessible route is with the reaper through the darkness
The embrace of the unseen
Wrapping me around in her seemingly infinite entity
The cool sensation of the water gently caressing my skin
I once wished
For felicity
For warmth to hold me in its arms
For laughter to kiss my lips
For the torment to alleviate
For the world to stop turning

Now I know this wouldn't be attainable
Never
As long as I'm on Earth
The restrictions of the mortal is de trop
I needa get out


Finding my way through the remnants of what was my mind
I winced as I struggled to pull out of its faltering yet still strong clutches
Its grasp around my neck loosened for a moment
I spluttered, I choked and I knew what I had to do

I

Ran

and Ran

Away

and Away

From myself

It isn't just say
It's a fact
I'm a threat
To myself
I just got to run
So I won't die
In my own hands
I just got to break free
Of my own clutches
I hate to admit
But this is the truth
Run with me
Not from me
'cos I need you
I'm sorry
If that seems
Preposterous
But I just wanna someone
Doesn't matter who
To reach out
Bring me back
Give me the courage
To face myself
Standing upright
Not cowering in fear
Give me the strength
To face my demons
Without running
'cos I wanna have myself back
I've been lost for too long
I've ventured too deep into the woods
Sank too deep under the water
Got too entangled in the intricate threads of life
Fucked my life up too much

I've slept for too long
Caught up in a dream
Or was it a nightmare?

I've just woken up
The world is in a fog
Can you lead me to the right path
Help me find my way back to myself
Help me clear up the winding roads ahead
Help me uncloud my vision

Is there anyone out there?
For it feels like I'm talking to myself
Can anyone hear me?
For it seems like my ears are the only pair my cries have reached
Am I alone in this struggle?
For it certainly seems like I am.