Frustrated Poem by gary Hardesty

My minds in deep thought, I look at god with a grown because all feelings are lost. I stay testing the boundaries of my own limitations; devastating situations creates more frustration. I’m hell bound but I want to be heaven sent, blessed with the tongue of a prophet the wisdom of a savior. Instead the flesh is strong and my soul is weak as the black hole which used to be my heart grows darker,
I’m forced to live a lie only know grief and misery. Praying to god asking him why but its not his fault I tried to appreciate life but sin makes it hard. Free will is gifts I say it's a curse because as soon as I die I must make amends for my disobedience on earth forced into sin I love it more than him. I want to succeed but too afraid to try. How can I get past the anger that dwells inside? I run from my destiny trying to create one myself living a life that's not my own. Searching for something that doesn’t exist if I die and never exist again would truly be a blessing.