Getting All Worked Up Poem by Professor Poetry Hound

You know how when you go to heaven
you leave your body behind? Well, if
that’s the case, you won’t have any hands,
right? So how the hell are you going to
work the TV remote? That’s assuming, of
course, that they’ll have TV in heaven -
I certainly hope so!

Wait a minute! You won’t have any eyes
or ears either! So how are you going to see
or hear anything? Or is it like your soul
just sort of bobs around on a sea of blissful
consciousness with Jesus’ smiling mug
perpetually staring down at you?

Hey, how come HE gets to have eyes but
nobody else does? I realize the job of
savior comes with certain perks, but
leaving all of us blind is taking it a bit too far.

I guess there’s no more justice in heaven
than there is on earth. And if you complain
about it, Jesus will probably rub one of
your past sins in your face even if you
already repented for it. If he gets all
worked up and does that, I think I’ll have
to tell him, “Just let it go, man. Let it go.”