Go Ahead Poem by JOEL VICTOR KIMUTAI

I cannot believe I am sailing in this mess after the many talks we have held. It sure sucks when you get to the point your heart cries foul as the acts you make it go through are really inhumane.
If there is anyone I am really sorry for, is ME. I pity myself to the point that I cannot take a mirror and look back at myself. The warmth and comfort I once felt for my serenity is drifting away into torment.
Got a loving, caring, passionate, understanding, sweet, friendly and welcoming family but I am blowing that all away for mere happiness. Am I really ready to face them with guilt printed on my forehead?
I am pushing away the most important persons in my life. People who have made a mark in this miserable life of mine, I tend to ignore. Is it worth it for them shading tears for me? Am I even me?
Where did I get lost? Is there hope out there for me in case I still exist? Who will be willing to help me out? I am a loner so afraid to let others into my own mess as I cannot transfer the pinch of pain.
To my pumpkin, you deserve the best of the world. I am just a used up rug to be discarded into the open. Tears roll down my cheeks as I write this and I cannot help it at all. I do not have any sweet part in me anymore as I am already taken apart piecing me up is all waste of time.
It is time I had a stroll down my life and transform myself into a better a person. I do not know how many people I have hurt but I am ready to take the risk of unearthing the skeleton. Time to say I am really sorry for making their lives a miserable wreck.
A few will understand me but that is the intended meaning I am going to pass. Time to fulfill the promises I have made to my Creator and Myself and make happy the few people who kept holding on me.
Thank you for not losing hope in me. You are there to lend a shoulder that I can cry on and I really appreciate that.
It is time for me to light up a candle in my candles, time to see my surrounding. Is it worth confiding in? Will I collapse at the sight of the environment I reside in or will I get the energy to
Go Ahead?