Goodbye To A Million Years Ago Poem by Yiling Ding

I can't tell if I'm
angry or sad, this
volcano that is
erupting. I am
trying to contain
the pain and
lock it behind
fierce practicality.

A million years ago
I was a neonate,
desperately wishing
for your brotherly love,
to make my
family whole.
Now you have ripped
and poisoned the
core of my heart, but
I shall look away
and watch only
the outside world. Yet
my sanity is
still breaking inside.

I feel contempt, don't
think I'll ever see you
the same way again,
but the child in me is
writhing with pain. I
hope she will die soon,
because then
all that will remain
is cold courtesy.

Goodbye, the horror
I once sought after
as a brother.