Moths sat up all night
In flickering candle light
Seeking storm respite
Summer is right here
A profusion of marigolds
Golden days unfold
A bright red carpet
Of fresh gulmohar flowers
Welcomes the monsoons
Coconut palms sway
All along the lovely bay
Gently with the breeze
Lovely Haikus. The one about the moths is especially appealing. 10, for you. Warm regards, Sandra
you have beautifully described each subject with finesse. I love it.
very close to human experience, esp. the first one...laudable first attempt!
I couldn't agree more with Carl Harris. He has expressed exactly what I would say, imagine that as soon as I enterd this page I started counting syllables, and searching for colours and reference to nature! ! ! So I will skip the technical part, and refer only to the meanings you touch and the questions you raise, and I say you are wothy of being called a 'poet'
I liked these four Japanese style poems very much, Sandra, as they were very well expressed, one of the keys to writing in the Japanese forms. Two of them are certainly Haiku poems, the first and last poems. The second and third poems are not Haiku but Senryu poems. I have read and studied Haiku and other Japanese poetic forms for over 30 years, plus have spoken with Japanese and other writers of these forms. For a 5-7-5 syllable poem to be a Haiku, it must speak only of nature, with no references to mankind or anything else other than nature. Any references to mankind or his inventions is considered a Senryu poem in the 5-7-5 syllable format. In the second line of your 4th poem, Profusion is a three syllable word, not a 4 syllable word, so you are one syllable short in line #2 of that poem. you may correct that deficency simply by inserting an 'A' before the word profusion, and you will have the seven syllables you need. As I said, I liked your fine poems, and since there is so much confusion (particularly by American poets) on what is or is not a haiku, wanted to help you understand these forms a little better. The rule for writing these two types of poems is simple: Nature = Haiku; anything else=Senryu. Good luck in the future writing in these forms. Carl.
They are all delightful Sandra and very creative too! I love 'profusion of marigolds' and the moths having to sit up all night to keep out of the storm. Great work! 10 Karin Anderson
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Fabulous haikus.....highly inspiring! perfect 10! ! !