Have You Ever Poem by Princess Jeesa

Have you ever felt all alone
Left out in a tragic zone
When nobody cares how you survive
Nobody cares you are dead or alive
Have you ever spent days talking to yourself
Wondering what you did
What was your mistake?
Sitting in one place for hours
Have you ever wondered whether you have used up all your tears?

I did
When my world went upside down
I did
When he turned me into a stone
I did
When I lost my ground
I did
When I went all wrong

Have you ever cheated on someone?
Someone who loved you tons
Giving all sort of hopes of togetherness
Have you ever broken any soul?
Gawking at those innocent eyes
Full of misery but no lies
Shuffling mind with unanswered questions
Have you ever lost your road?
Thinking of the time of rainbows and butterflies
Trying hard to work this out
Watching him cry
Watching him die
Didn't realizing what is lost
Have you ever lost that love?
The love that is rare to find
The wardship and worship a girl deserves
Have you ever ruined it all?

I did
When I lived a fatuous life
I did
When I loved the wrong guy
I did
When I was consumed by you
I did
Not knowing what to do

Have you ever felt comfort
Even after losing every hope
Because you have that one person
The person for whom you did it all
All that you never thought you would do
You end up doing them all
You end up loving someone else
Wanting him more and more
He mesmerized you with his words
His words that expressed his love
The love that is shown in movies
You thought you have it all
Neglecting the chaos beside you
Have you ever felt only the hue?
The hue of being loved and cared
Have you ever felt heaven for real?

I did
When he kissed me on my lips
I did
When he said he will never leave
I did
When he made me smile
I did
I won't deny

Have you ever felt the pain of your heart?
The pain you get when you are ignored by someone you love
Treated like a much less someone
Someone he once loved or you thought he loved
The irony is, he can hardly be blamed
I mean, check me out- I'm a pathetic mess
Unrecognizable even in my own eyes
Drowning in my self-made lies
Have you ever been so desperate?
Desperately wanting to hold on to someone
Someone who is the only person you talk to
That only person you have done everything for
Have you ever felt that abnormal hormonal rush?
The rush to see someone right away
The need for a hug to soothe your heart beat
And getting a cold reply instead
With shattered hope and broken heart
Have you ever stayed quiet and not cry?

I did
When he was gone
I did
When I was proven wrong
I did
As I went into shock
I did
And I just can't move on

Now that I have lost everything
I have nothing to hide anymore
Sitting here with zero friends
I keep checking my phones
My phone never rings now
Is it me I'm talking about? Wow!
I never knew how it is to be alone
Unless he left me, unless he is gone
Now I pray day and night for strength
The strength I need to bear the pain
This pain is something that I know I deserve
Because I have made many people feel the same
I just want someone to hold me
I am alone in the dark, Please try to find me
Where once was a room filled with laughter & cheer
Now stands loneliness, emptiness and despair




Jeesa
20 September 2012