He Says Poem by Kerri White

He says,
"Sometimes I swear
She can feel me
Missing her,
But I do nothing,
‘cause what is there to do
In this moment
Besides live in it? "

So he looks away
In hopes that a scenery change
Will suddenly make him
Forget.

He says,
"I'm just not satisfied
now in this segregated moment,
When reality is real,
But only because it has to be,
And not because I chose it
Not even one second of it."

And sometimes it seems
Like everything grabs hold of him,
Covers his face,
And takes his breath away
Long enough for death to become clear,
But not long enough for it actually to take effect.

He says,
"Would you stop teasing me
And go ahead and release me
If that's what you're trying to do?
It's not punishment
Moreso an end to the punishment
I've survived thus far."

I just can't understand
Why everything ends in disaster
Even the brightest things
Can end up dull,
Like the blade of the knife
He's just never been brave enough
To actually pick up.

He says,
"Maybe not doing it
Takes more courage than proceeding,
And I'm still here waiting
But I'm so tired of the time passing
With nothing but disappointment
As the background to my soul,
But I guess I'll just never know."

The things that cause the peacefulness
Are so far away
And those that cause the torture
Are always beside him
disfiguring him
until he'll know himself no more