Herr Hitler In Reverse Poem by Frank Bana

Now he is lost and gone, my friends!
He sleeps with Bronte, Gandhi, Tamburlane
I wish I'd been him, known him, held him back
From falling into dark, I would have learned
Right at his feet, taken his methods, table thoughts,
Applied them town by town and street by street.

First I free the Chancelry from debt
Berlin from Wagner, unemployment,
Calculus of churches and Leibniz,
I subsidise Kurt Weill, take lunch with Brecht
Establish the Spinoza Youth, with Ernst Roem at the head!

And then each part of Africa I free
From French and British servitude, creating India too
I liberate the Russians from the hold of Bolshevy
And gift unto the Jews their holy Palestine
I break their chains before the English do
So they'll sleep good and sound - Rest will make them Free!
And all these lovely Germans under me -
Deserve a shot at liberty. I've handed them to Austria.
Iraqis? Trusteeship for America. And on the side
I've founded the UN with one decree!

As you, mein Herr, as you -
All the things that I alone could do!
I order the farm animals let loose, close down
The abattoirs, I run V.W's
On ethanol to keep the planet cool.

As you, imagine what I could have been!
Newborn of Italy and Portugal
And all their conquered lands
Would bear your name
Never to be spurned
Nor spit upon at school -
Never to feel ashamed.

But you, you ruled us without love
Only with your power, in blood
You never learned to live without them.

You should have trysted down there in the trenches
You should have sired some secret love-child
To distract you from the failure of your art

I knew by all your mimicry and dances
As you orated, spat on Flanders, France,
That you were crying out for an embrace....

Now take him back, unrepentant and intact
Entombed, at rest under his shameful face
I'll do it all much better in his place!

And when they look about
For my longings and deficiencies
I swear I won't kill those who might find out

Signed,
I am the Jew.
And you?