Hidden Inside The Joker Poem by Micron

I go about life and now I simply pretend
Laugh joke fool around with collegues n friend
As I go about life I grin try pretend nothing's wrong
We grin, laugh as my heart beats aches to a sad song
My pain doesnt go away, for it I've hidden inside
For to let it go would upset others outside
As I joke pretend, make them cry as they laugh
Inside I'm crying, which may seem just daft
Maybe for a second I can kid I could one day belong
But in my heart and soul I know this is a lie wrong
I do try to be there for when someone needs an ear
For I understand the need for someone to be near
I've hiden my pain so people simply dont see
The real me inside thats trapped cant get free
And yet I grin and help as they talk to me
For it helps them to live become happy, free
The sick, the joyous, frustrated the sad
I hear of peoples good things and also the bad
The funny emails I simply share, post around
In hope it lightens someones day when they're found
I try to listen, console, help them on their way
They continue their path and simply drift away
For ages this I fought and simply I didnt see
Others lives are simply more important than me
For a time I searched for an ear showed a bit of inside
But people dont really care so I hid it back in side
So silently now my heart constantly seeps and bleeds
As people around me, on my love and brain do feed
My knowledge, in work, all the things I have learnt
The books facts i read to avoid facing my hurt
So I laugh with you, hope I can make you feel happy today
and hope that that moment will help you through the day
I hope when I die God will forgive me
For stuffing up my life for being silly old me.