Hidden Piece Poem by Natasha Edwards

who needs coke to sniff
or Jamison to neck
to feel lethargic and paranoid
when I have you
you penetrate my soul
like a hot knife
through warm butter
Leaving me to feel like ice
I stand alone
waiting
for the rush to fill up the void
for a brief moment in time
it fulfills its requirements
and leaves me
warm and free
then.......
alone
cold
wanting someone to wrap their arms around and
tell me they believe
in the fight
the battle that commences
between you
and me
on a daily basis
nobody knows
There is nobody to trust
the ones I have in the past leave me bitter and
lost
my paranoid sets in
and I wonder again
about you and me
where it went wrong
what happened
why I became me
the me I am today
it started out as some fun
experimenting
with the dark side
but now
I am hollow
I hold nothing
except the mirror in my hand
and the woman that stares back is not the me
I knew
cradle me in your arms daddy
make me safe and take it all away
lets make biscuits mummy
take me back to '81
safe and sound
and free from pain
daisy chains and dancing in the garden on hot summer days
while the white sheet blow in the breeze on the line
and the neighbour coughs his smokers cough
birds sing a beautiful song the trees that line our garden
and this child turns her gaze
to you
And you let me down