Hooray For Holyrood Poem by Robert Sheridan

Hooray for Holyrood
That screwy, Augustinian Abbey Holyrood!
Where any king or queen
Or young plebian
can cause a panic
With just a good-looking pan-face
And any Order of the Thistle
Can be destroyed by a mob scene
If they can’t shuffle their feet fast enough
Hooray for Holyrood!
Where you’re terrific
if you’re even half-good!
Where anyone from King David I (silver-spoon birth)
to King James VII (Evangelist)
is equally misunderstood
Come on and try your luck
You could be Queen of Scots
Hooray for Holyrood!

Hooray for Holyrood!
That phony, super Abbey, Holyrood
They come from Royal Standards and hide in turret rooms
with their long-bows and arrows (makes me shiver)
To see their names up on the marquee
All armed with Dorian Grey paintings of themselves
From local artists
With their beards in curlers
and legs in tights
Hooray for Holyrood!
You may be homely in this neighborhood
Still, if you think that you can be a benefactor
See Mister Matter-of-factor
He’d make up a tale for you
Within half-an-hour (gets time-and-a-half)
You’ll look like Bonnie Prince Charlie
Hooray for Holyrood!

‘2008’