How Was God Born? A True Story Poem by Ravi Kopra

"God was born from self and all souls were born from him."
-Kumarmani Mahakul

God said to his self -
Let me be born
and lo! there was God
Standing in the heaven
(God does not like hell. Who does?)
wearing a kurta and a dhoti
all white like the sun, like the
holy cow's milk, like the whitest of
the white complexioned girl
for whom every Indian man will die to win her love.
God was smiling at himself how great he was
He could be born out of himself.

So himself of God was born as God himself
Himself became the God, and the God, himself
So when we talk of God, we talk of himself
And when we say himself, we actually say God.

Dear children and dear godless people
Do you know now how God was born?
If not, let me know for God, I mean Himself (not myself)
has blessed me with Himself and I am the only one who knows
how God was born by God.

So God chops off tiny tiny pieces of his huge humongous infinitely large soul
and keeps on sending these souls, like photons of light into the wombs of women who are just going to be pregnant
(because God likes watching the coitus between a man and woman, What kind of mind he has, now you know)
and as soon as the sperm enters the ovum, the tiny tiny soul enters the sperm and the ovum combined
and soon after that a tiny boy or a tiny girl starts developing in the mother's womb depending what was he color of the entering soul
red souls make boys and blue souls, girls. Now you know why boys are boys and girls are girls
Forget about their X and Y chromosomes. There are no such things. They do not exist. Only red and blue colors!
That's why the Republicans in the red states in USA think they are the machos and all the blue states Democrats are just sissies!

to be continued -

only if you want to know further from me how God was born. I will surely comply with your wishes, and enlighten you a lot even though I am not as learned about God as the sage poet who knows everything about God. I know just a little, but you will understand well and never ever ask the silliest of the questions...