I Don'T Understand... Poem by Alicia Wood

I don't understand how my heart is still in one piece. I fall so easily or guys and I always get hurt. I hate how guys play with my feelings always saying 'I love you' & 'I miss you'. I just want to find one guy who treats me right and that don't play me on the sides. Who's there everytime I need them. I don't want them to lie or go behind my back and do anything to please only themselves. If they don't love me then they don't need to be with me. I want someone who don't beat you pshically or mentally with harsh words or there fist.I'm just tired of being hurt. I think my heart is so black and cold that I never could fall in love again.I don't think I want love anymore. I just want to get through life by myself. I use to be scared of dieing alone now I'm just scared of dieing with someone who I love to death but them not feeling the same for me. I don't want a guy to be with me because they hate being alone. I'd rather be alone or die alone then to be with a guy who only wants to be with someone so their not alone. While I wait and die from this miserable world I'm just going to live my life every second pretending I'm happy.