I Have Chosen To Mend And Heal Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Even if I did have some time,
I'd make sure I had none,
For you.
Not a second would I spend,
Listening to you weep through...
Selected excuses.
While you rip apart my heart!

We're no longer kids on a swing,
Chasing each other around the playground...
After dark.
One of us refuses to grow up.
And the other is a sucker!
Trying to prevent another mothering.

Even if I did have some time,
I'd make sure I had none,
For you.
Not a second would I spend,
Listening to you weep through...
Selected excuses.
While you rip apart my heart!

What happened to your 'new' relationship?
The one you left me to start a 'serious' life with.
Isn't that what you said to me?
As both of you laughed,
To leave me pleading!

I don't have enough energy to despise you.
Nor am I the least bit curious.
Why you appear here and I am not furious.

Even if I did have some time,
I'd make sure I had none,
For you.
Not a second would I spend,
Listening to you weep through...
Selected excuses.
While you rip apart my heart!

I have chosen to mend and heal.
Not bend and kneel.
Remember how I did that and you laughed?

Those times with you,
Are in my past.

You taught me how to shiver and freeze.
And baby...
You will never see me thaw.
Even if you crawled and stopped breathing,
Instantly!
A melting would not take place.
That wouldn't happen.
What would?
A sealing of the windows and doors would be done.
And then I would turned off the lights.
With a whistling of a happy tune.

My cheeks,
Have been made raw...
From too much turning!