I Must Find Poem by Karin Holloway

I must find my objectives
Do I drift or have I set a course -
It was to be free.
Free of whom?
Is this true? Have I looked inside
Where do I hide?

My object was to be in love.
I think this may be honest
To create a comfort built for two -
It included you.

Friendship you've called it -
You've been honest even
when you said I love you.
I AM loveable.
My object is for you to know this -
to feel its truth as it cuts you.
What are the limits I must set -
What boundaries to bind us
as the rope cuts into skin.

Every time I feel the same pain -
I'm not sufficient for your ego,
My, I'm a midget
Small blidget on your tally.

No more I'll rally sense alive
To lose you in your loving.
Long ago the maybes were intriguing
- now in torment I'm tired.
Where are the limits, how do I do
What to do.
This too shall pass
Yet my life's convolutions quicken.

Involutions vacillating
Complications computating
Shall I champion my self?