I Mystified,Have Thrown Away All That Is Important. Poem by RIC BASTASA

it is from this far
that i see the truth,

and from this far
it is ugly, sometimes i

think it is funny, but
really, it is not, it

is uglier when i get
farther, trying to escape
and see something
else,

i take speed as cure,
and move some more to
be numb to pain, like a
stone that you hurl
to hurt me, and it misses
me, by an inch,
and so
i have so many justifications
for thanking you,

everything is beautiful
when hidden,
something is felt when
kept for a long time,

i am human, and i err,
and i argue and i rationalize,

i repeat the fault as many
times as i promise not to.

i keep praying for your
understanding, O youth,
have fun, O youth, have
wisdom.

when i get near you
as to light i am blinded.
i am lost
in the brightness of
of the fires of your
youth,

no, there is no elegance,
there is no sophistication,

when i feel, i fail,
and you are still there.

how can one escape from
the silliness of
this all...love uncalled
for, love uninvited,

love getting in,
and i mystified,

have thrown away
all that is important.