I Pray Poem by Kaz Kawasaki

I enter the gym
I try to look grim
determined
ready to tackle the mountain that is my workout
and it begins
pullups 1,2,3,4...10,15.
dips 1,2,3,4...10
And I begin to waver
I stare at these bars and weights
wondering why in hell I'm here
what do I seek to achieve by lifting weights
for circumstances that I most likely won't encounter.
ugh.
Barbell squats: 1,2,3,4...10
Second set: 1,2,3,4...5...6. Clang
my will racks itself
and I stare in the mirror
and my perfect form
and my broken life
trying to supplement strength
for a pain much deeper
and I bow my head, stare at the weights
or close my eyes
and I pray
a sloppy, uneven prayer
full of 'at-the-moment' requests
for something, anything
purpose,
clarity,
satisfaction.
and I hear nothing in return
and I get pissed.
Calf raisers...1,2,3,10,15,20
Second Set,1,10,20
Third Set, raise the weight,1,10,15
My mind screaming like a last battle cry
against the fear that grips my heart
the rage against my own soul
and the will seeking to overcome it
I live to work, and working keeps me living
people ask me why I do it
I can't explain it
it's my pain, my load
and the lead makes it so much more real