I Recall It All Poem by Edgard Canales

I wish my words wouldn't be so apocalyptic
pain full, and dramatically
but I tell my life stories
choose every single word strategically.
Physically, you can say I'm small
with the heart of a lion 10 feet tall.
N.gga I recall it all
Police caught me stealing at the mall.
first time I hit the J.A.C
4 deep in a stolen Lac.
Mamma came to my release
Broke down
when she seen the shackles on my feet.
Started breaking night
hard head, young and full of pride.
N.gga I recall it all from way back
learned to brake bread, bust heads
and make stacks.
When the boats at Bayside was the sh.t
in my neighborhood you had to use your fist.
When Ivy had Chris
baby's having baby's so Mamma flipped.
When C.S.G was the click
The chilling spot was the hang out
those days I really miss.
At Douglass I got my first kiss
still remember those pretty lips.
We had n.ggas scared to walk through
young and wild screaming f.ck a curfew.
We would rank on each other til some one got mad
Gabo always gave in, he never really last.
Beefing with A.P n.ggas who moved on my Mamma's block
Me, Chris and Edwin bought that dirty glock.
Chris broke the safety cause he said we didn't need it
promised everybody payback,
we would leave them n.ggas bleeding.
We caught them n.ggas at the park
it was really after dark.
supposed to had been a one on one when we fought
But we said f.ck it and set it off.
We had n.ggas jumping gates
police caught us and
sprayed us all with maze.
Recall When we used to ride in Romer's car
older than us all so we had to bust his sh.t
when he started acting flaw.
Me and Negro would take John's weed
we got the giggles and if he asked
we'd just say: It wasn't me.
Member when The Juvenile was like a telly
fast lane on the road to riches and
a life of crime to fill our empty belly's.
Got a little older
daughter on the way
feel the pressure on my shoulder.
Hit the block to serve fiends
n.gga I was only 15.
Recall it all
when I stop fighting my step dad and he became my father
many moons ago
now I love em' to death
he's abuelo (Grandpa) to both my daughters.
Baby Mamma's and me split up
just a teen so twice my heart was crushed.
When I violated my probation
prison bound
serve my time but no release
instead I awaited deportation.
Life became my nightmare
no smiles or happy thoughts
just mean mugs and hard stares.
After some time decided to wisely use my time
hit the books hard
wrote my poems at night to make me feel fine.
My families letters kept me on the right path
gave me the strength I needed,
if not
no telling how long I would've last.
I recall getting on the plane
2 U.S Marshalls guarding me
so through those isles I walked the walk of shame.
Thrown to a new world
tear drops cause behind I left everything I know
specially both my little girls.
At times I think about Dying,
but then I Realize
the struggles and the hard times
is what makes me shine with out trying.
N.gga I recall it all
it's what keeps me sane
always something I can hold on to
when I feel I'm about to fall.