I Was Responsible Poem by Mohammad Abdullah

Since I was born, I was responsible
My parents fought, I was responsible
We departed, I was responsible
We struggled, I was responsible
I was the eldest, I was responsible
My siblings slept, I worked
Since I was responsible
I grew up, I became responsible
I was blamed, since I was responsible
I was dropped out, I was responsible
Lost my savings to gambling
Yes, I was responsible
My brother, provided for, but robbed a shop
Innocent, but I was responsible
I fell in love, I was responsible
Devoted myself to a stranger
Yes, I was responsible
War waged around her, I was responsible
She migrated, left school, left home
Shackled by turmoil, but I was responsible
Parents passed away, I became more responsible
Brother did drugs, sister got raped
Watched my family burn down in flames
But considered myself responsible
Torn and frayed, I sold myself
Brother to rehab, sister to convention
Broken, homeless, full time labourer
But never a word of regret, since I was responsible
Restored, rebuilt, renovated
Relationships, scholarships, negotiated
Face held high, felt being responsible
Graduation, internship, but never a word of gratitude
Overlooked their attitude, because I was responsible
Conduct changed, frowned upon
'Old man, burden, be gone! '
Hid the remorse, since I was responsible
Rejected, evaded, abhorred for no reason
This bent form never saw the spring season
Expected relief, but met only treason
Reprimanded myself, because I was responsible
Love turned to hate, alas! I met my fate
How come, was I responsible?
Profound thoughts overwhelmed me
My own self condemned me
Let them never forget, how did I fret
When I put a bullet in my head
Because they said, I was responsible