If I Could Turn Back Time... Poem by Nika Miller

If I could turn back time…
I would be thankful to have a mum like you.
I hope you believe that this is true.
If I could turn back time…
I would try to be a better daughter.
And write our story new like an author.
If I could turn back time…
I would not be mean to you again.
And heal the wounds of my words like an aidman
If I could turn back time…
I would help you more with domestic work.
And donate you more often a little smirk.
If I could turn back time…
I would take the car to make the purchase,
It would have happened to me then in this case.
If I could turn back time…
You would still be alive.
Dad would be happy that you survive
If I could turn back time…
Dad would not be angry on me.
And he would not have lost his glee.
If I could turn back time…
I would die for you without hesitation,
you would not be able to reject this donation.

BUT I can't turn back time…
So I'm sitting here on my bed,
not knowing how I should move ahead.
I can't turn back time…
So our family is fulfilled with hate.
I cannot repair it, because it is too late.
I can't turn back time…
Dad looks at me - full of hate in his eyes,
I did never see him when he cries.
I can't turn back time…
But I know I made lots of things wrong.
And I could cry all night long.
I can't turn back time…
Just waiting that I will feel better some day,
All around me looks like dark grey.
I can't turn back time…
The colour of my life seems to be lost.
it's a feeling like never ending frost.
I can't turn back time…
I really miss you so much.
Would do everything for only one touch.
I can't turn back time…
I cannot sleep and cannot eat,
can't almost stay on my feet.
I can't turn back time…
I miss you so much that I have stomach ache,
feeling myself like a bad ugly snake.
I can't turn back time…
I changed the colour of my hair,
they're now black and suitable to my feeling like I am In a nightmare.
I can't turn back time,
I feel lot of darkness inside,
thinking everybody were happy if I died.
I can't turn back time…
whishing sometimes to fell asleep,
and secretly die like a creep.
I'cant turn back time…
I will not hurt myself - don't worry,
cause I'm sure you would not agree.
I can't turn back time…
Even when I don't know if you were still able to donate me Love,
I know you are looking at me from above.
I can't turn back time…
have to live now with the guilt of your dead,
not knowing how I should handle that in my head.
I can't turn back time…
just want that the violent pain ends soon.
always thinking of you when I see the moon.
I can't turn back time…
have no tears anymore to cry.
always asking me why!
I can't turn back time…
Please God forgive
I'm feeling like I have no right to live.
I'cant turn back time…
Dad -you made one big mistake in your life.
making a girl which killed your wife.