Im Sitting Here Poem by Joyleen Heneker

Im sitting here
Crying inside
Screaming so loud
I want to run
I want hide
I want to die
Im scare of this new reality
What’s it going to be like
To worried to think about it
To scared to even try

So scared of this hatred that lays so deep inside
Terrified of being this fat, yet this way of life
Stuck in a contradictory state of mind
I want to recover
But temptation of purging is to great
I fear it, yet love it

I want to talk so bad
But scared to make the first move
So hard to breathe
Feel so smothered
So bloated, so fat
So confused
My own safe world
Where im in control