In Lavasa, Pune Poem by Daniel Trevelyn Joseph

In Lavasa near Pune, surrounded by green hills,
With Tarasgaon dam waters glistening below,
Staying in Ekaant, the retreat with few others,
We had dinner in Vranjan, the restaurant,
Lit with blue central column of moving lights,
My one wife and my one daughter.

We three are rarely silent, when out together;
Chatter – chupper, chupper - goes on; this night also:
At one point, my wife asks us whether she is as fat
As the woman foraging the buffet around centre,
Containing food in ever-silver vessels with lids...
“No darling” I said: but Joti nodded assenting,
Added, “Papa is your husband, after all”!

Long ago, I stopped expressing an opinion
As an honest person would, realizing well
It’s not worth it to produce unpleasantness
On trivial matters; better to agree, and get on.

Who knows what is right, what is wrong?
Or, not correct?

Under such circumstances,
Why speak out frank impressions, feelings which
Anyway are inconstant, keep changing continually,
Why express them, and fall into the dark pit
Of vile emotions, buffeted by on all fronts?

Now it struck me why I get angry
Sometimes furiously only with my sweet wife.
She is mostly more intelligent, she
Whom I love and I know I love;
Everybody knows that I’m very fond of her.
Unconsciously when she symbolizes Society,
The Others’ opinion, the judgment of world at large,
And keep advising me, correcting me, criticizing me,
I get furious and go beyond normal limits of anger.

Mostly I’m not bothered about world’s opinion;
But when others press upon me their contrary views,
Dissent, disdain in words, gestures, facial expressions,
Like Society does on non-conforming individuals,
Then, there is a heavy explosion from my side.

The mad, angry outbursts have nothing to do with
My wife, the person the unique individual,
But with outside society she represents as symbol
At that moment, collapsing on me to crush my self,
And ideas I think of as mine, prize, subscribe to, etc
Even beyond my wife, I presume.