Faith Elizabeth Brigham

Rookie (May 14,1953 / Pittsburgh, PA)

In My Dreams


there is a special place i go
if only in my dreams
it's filled with many flowers
an ocean, waterfall and streams
there are no signs directing me
but i know which way to go


the stone-white wall hides it all
from beauty and truth's foes
i always stop to take a swim
this i seem to do with perfect ease
upon awakening i feel so free-
filled with peace and serenity

Submitted: Wednesday, December 29, 2004
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  • Rookie Herbert Nehrlich1 (12/29/2004 6:17:00 AM)

    if you left the but out (end of first stanza) added 'it' after stone white wall, and, instead of 'this I seem...' use 'and this I do with perfect ease', then...awakening I feel free'
    'and filled with sweet serenity' (or so filled with..)
    the poem would flow much better. This one stumbles and probably just stumbled into territory I should have stayed out of.
    Perhaps you don't mind.
    I liked the poem so much that I wanted to see it free flowing.
    Sorry,
    H (Report) Reply

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