Inadequacy (Depression) Poem by Avuyile 'Avue' Maseko

Just like the other day
she was about to shatter in the shelter
burn it with anger
then later, extinguish it with misery
and there'd be no laughter or smile to rebuild the fallen walls
all cause every sunrise magnified her inadequacies

Hollowing green bottles reflecting lost light
and empty caffeine cans chiming rhythms of her heart
collaborating to compose a song of despair
For the one that deserted their destiny
to continue it in heaven
all ‘cause her inadequacy led her to drunken fantasies
that could never be realised in any earthly fairy-tales

Silencing her fears with loud music
Misunderstanding that pain echoes from the heart
Shaken walls affirmed with lonely fists and words
Re-painted with Hollywood desires
just to perfect resemblance of fallen dreams
that's covering inadequacy by a black blanket with holes

Water stills, white pills and a silver razor
turns water red; hope to end in heaven
starts the inevitable routine again just when the sun rises
Calls the pastor for prayer, then mumble that Gods existence will be proved by her happiness
then replaces her inadequacies with blessings
only to fail again due to inadequacy

Spirit insecure, soul unsecured
Unreported black-outs, break-ins and break-downs
Those attempts of robbery that damage her hoping property
Body exhausted from brains instability and poverty
Inadequacy is believing that hot showers and ice cream are a sanctuary

‘Melted chocolate and strawberries just before we romanticise again
will make love till the sun dries the ocean.
We are real lovers who can't be separated by death
No need for counselors, our love is strong, we'll on keep making up
You make me feel inadequate and I feed your supremacy'
That's a perfect love song, my Inadequacy
That's what you've made me believe, my Jealous lover