`insanely Numb Poem by Allysyn Bryant

I go day by day
Trying to ignore the pain
Trying to forget the memories I see
On Every street
I miss you, you know
But I dare not say so

Friends of mine are trying to cheer me up
I smile, I pretend, I say I'm just fine
When all along inside, I've died
Not even within the night, can I cry

I haven't cried.
Not truly cried, I stop the tears
Before I start, because If I do
I don't know that I'd be able to stop

So everyday I get up
Work being a reason I do
And those days I don't have to work
I find something else for me to do

Standing still hurts more
More then walking around on hot coals
Sleeping during the night
It's even worse
Especially when there's dreams
Dreams of what use to be

I have to remind myself to eat
And to once in a talk to somebody
I find myself by myself more often then not
And being happy about it too
That's something I always hated to do

My parents, their worried
They're afraid I'll just stop one day
Just stop everything I do
I try to be happy at the house
So maybe they don't see
All this pain flows through me

Even last night
I cut my thumb
Staring at the blod, I felt no pain
I've just been Insanely Numb

July 22,2009