Intitmacy Poem by Israh Sadan

It plays over and over in my mind.
How I pawed you, tasted you,
nibbled you, till you told me to stop.

The umpteenth time you said it
was the first time I heard it.
I had convinced myself
that you weren't convinced
that you wanted it to stop.

And like you explained
AND I UNDERSTOOD
it was not rejection, but better judgment.
But I still burn.
I still burn with humiliation.

And I still burn with desire.

Yes there's the desire
to have you inside me.
But that's only a small part of me.
All of me yearns to be inside YOU.
To be folded in your arms, tight against your chest.

What does that mean to you?

I'm not romanticizing
what I can't have.
I'm just now clearly seeing
what I really wanted.