It Will Never Be Poem by Rose Bean

Iv'e caved..
I have given up, you have weakened me.
I don't want to get up and have you see, me-
not like this.
Where you can see every bone in my body
where you can see straight threw my soul.
My very open, naked-soul.
That wasn't the goal.
The goal was to be together
together..forever?
No...i don't understand what that means. Sorry..
I'm not sorry
I don't care if you understand that.
I did care, once, that one time..
When i thought everything seemed fine,
Before you ripped your heart from mine
That for me felt like the first time we departed,
even though you have been gone.
For so very long..
I was blinded by emotion, i just couldn't see it
I couldn't see i was being played as a fool
while you were out playing a tool.
God! How can they be so crule? !
You make me want to.. to.. UUUHHHH! ! !
Now Rose.. remember the number one rule!
There not worth it.

God! But still feeling all these things that use to be there
what do i do? I just want to forfit...
Fall to the floor and not feel worth it, like some how i deserved it.
Like a dog who was left on the side of the rode by his owner,
I still love you, When are you coming back? I'm scared..
But my tail still waves on when i think about you!
When will i realize that you have abbandoned me? !
I don't understand, don't you miss me?
All the fun times we had together, all the times i made you laugh?
All the times you let me lay with you, I thought we were happy.
Didn't i make you happy?
Or was i not good enough... You want a puppy again,
don't you.. one to hold your intrest.
Because it's cute, and no longer am I.
I do not appeal to you, not anymore, i am a dog.
I have grown.. so here, you leave me alone.
I get it now- alone..

As i look around in the dark,
with the warm road in front of me and cold grass in the back
I beggin to wimmper, because i don't know where I'm at.
I don't have a warm bed to crawl over, or an owner at that.
Just the chills of the night
and shadows of fright, that you have left.

You were once my guard..
I don't want to call you my guard
My guard..
That guard.
The guard that held my sane..
My little box, that held the secrets to my real name.
The dot that finished my every sentence.
The light, that i used, to help me see.
How else could i explain
how much i loved thee..
How much i wished,
it could have been you and me!
That i know-it will never be.
At least- not again for me