Jerry Is A Man Poem by Kevin Patrick

Margaret bought him from a Phoenix laboratory
Outrage he'd get the axe, in the literal of sense
Cargrew thought her mad, and took it all in strides
Brownie was displeased and said it was her spit
But she said it was concern for all utensils right
Because Jerry is a man not a dog food machine

He was just a cattle Joe engineered for sanitation
Built for odd job routines, across the corporate nation
Labor made his paradise, benefits with no insurance
His occupation hazards were befitting for compensation
Which he got in payment of non brand name cigarettes
It was just the perfect timing for a mansion on Malibu

Got an autoclave Zamboni for a test tube baby daddy
Factory commissioned with a brand name on his sleeve
Though his intelligence quotation is below a baby elephant
He’s an expert with his fingers above anthropoid development
Built completely from scratch with proteins that can match
There’s nothing faulty in his conscience because he’s just a man
And Jerry is a man

Give him supplementary pretzels to fulfill his beer nutrition
On Monday night football we’ll convert him to couch addiction
Teach him how to gossip and learn the art of saying “shut up”
He can read you William Keats or use his teeth for a can of beans
There’s never lover’s quarrel’s when he conditioned for your needs
Jerry’s truly the perfect man you could use him on your team

Lawyers are pulling rabbits to get his civil rights in practice
The three laws of Robotics say nothing about love mechanics
Accept to prove he’d sell his brother just to get a cigarette
He’s articulated to lies to save his own self perseverance
If that does not make him a man then we are all just chimps
Because Jerry is a man who can run from bombs and girls

Sine quo non I think he can
Proclaim his conscience his civil stance
Tabula Rasa therefore he is:
A Sentient modem in the microwave sense
Ex nihlo deux ex machine:
Shock absorb the silicon madman’s dream
Confused about our parts until where bone machines
But only when there are guns behind your back
Confidence assures you what in life you should pack
Fortune favors the bold, to those who are men
And Jerry is defiantly every inch a bold bull
For Jerry is a man